dude i'm inner monologue high
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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