we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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