? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
