I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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