hotel room ftw
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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