I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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