it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
