my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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