singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
