If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
