Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
