I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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