I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
