I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
