I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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