Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
