Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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