Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
