Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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