How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
