i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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