Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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