This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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