Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
smell my finger.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
