So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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