Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
