Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
