It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
