Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
