Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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