i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
