Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
