you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
