So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
