just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
