i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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