Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
