just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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