Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
