you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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