can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize