You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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