My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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