The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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