I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
