i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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