woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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