i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
