Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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