somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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