Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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