I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
