yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
