But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
