I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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