And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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