She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
