he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
