I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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