Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
