how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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