guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
