o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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