I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
