Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Text me some of your sweat
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
